I find myself yearning for sisterly companionship A.LOT. lately. There is just so much in my life that I desire to share with a caring, understanding ear. The husband is great and all, but talking with him hasn’t helped fill the hole.
It’s moments like these that I grieve the relationships lost, broken, and never explored.
Many times in my past I have been guilty of causing pain. Many times I have experienced pain. I can now acknowledge that most times I caused the pain, I was acting in the moment, out of selfishness, to satisfy some need or want of my own and wound up injuring an innocent bystander. I can also acknowledge that most of the instances in which I was hurt my expectations were unrealistically high. We can all be so focused on what seems to be the highest priority at the moment that we wind up blind to the other important things around us.
I used to crave relationships with others who “love like I love”. Oh, the arrogance!
Do I think I feel love strongly? Yes! But I used to think because someone would allow themselves to hurt me or someone else with betrayal or abandonment that meant their love wasn’t as good, more to the point – not good enough for me.
The fact of the matter is – we’re all broken. We are all going to make mistakes.
Granted, I still don’t want to feel betrayed or abandoned by those whom I love. My love is what has changed. I have the desire to show my love and my acceptance, especially in the moment a mistake is made.
Now that I desire to do this, I find my life lacking in relationships with others and my relationships lacking life.
Now I’m praying for sisters, for friends.