I was SO looking forward to my quiet time this morning!
My quiet time looks very different on the weekends vs the weekdays. Typically when I wake up, even before I fling back the covers and hopefully before I’ve even let my eyes focus on anything, I try to start my day with the Lord’s Prayer. I don’t have to think about what to pray, what words to say, nothing else has to even enter my mind because I’ve had this prayer memorized for almost as long as I can remember. But it quickly aligns myself with Him and His ways. Of course, days start and I forgot to whisper “Our Father”, and noticeably, I am a very different person!
You see, what happens daily after that moment is life. A life just like many of yours, or like it was or will be in the season of active parenting. Seven days a week, I wake up to my husband and my boys. The weekends hold less structure than the weekdays. So it’s the weekdays that hold a more predictable rhythm for my quiet times. Today is Tuesday, the first weekday of our week really, because yesterday was a snow day. And yes, I LOVE having my boys home, but I awoke this morning with an overwhelming desire to spend some alone time with my Heavenly Father. Once the boys left, the house became still and quiet, I started to play some worship music and with my coffee in hand, sat before the Lord.
Even before I opened my Bible or any devotional, the relief bubbled up and out in hot tears.
Nothing is “wrong”, I don’t feel like I’m in any pit or valley, nor do I see a mountain in front of me that needs moved or conquered. I just NEED Him. A moment surrendered to that. My stomach clenched for Daily Bread, my body shaking with sobs, and each gulp of air – filled with the hope of taking more of Him in.
After I settled a bit and begun writing in my journal and reading my daily devotional, the idea of sharing this with you all here came to me. Honestly, I’ve been working on a different post, but that life I mentioned earlier can get quite distracting! I don’t necessarily like sharing these vulnerable moments and tried to push past that thought. But it wouldn’t leave me. The Lord continually nudges me out of my comfort zone and as uncomfortable as obedience might be, I trust His plan. Maybe you were the one who needed to read this? Maybe it’s just another moment that needs to be recorded for later remembering? Either way, will you join me in a moment of surrendering to our dependence on our Heavenly Father and Sovereign King?
My Father, My Lord and King, I love you so! Thank you for the ways you pursued me, to bring me this close to you. Thank you for the ways you continue to pursue me, to bring me ever closer. Thank you for moments like these that breakdown every other desire and dependence so Your light can breakthrough and shine on what really matters. Thank you for creating me to need YOU! Amen.