My Heart Called Him Daddy

“For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.”       -Romans 8:14-16

I had a hard time falling asleep last night in spite of my exhaustion.  I couldn’t get comfortable, my mind racing.  Beside me lay my husband, not feeling well.  I felt helpless and desperately did not want him to be sick as I was the week prior.  I prayed.  It started off praying for his health, then our little families health, then everyone I know, etc.  Now with something to focus on, my mind raced through all I pray about frequently and quickly moved on to an array of subjects.  Eventually, my mind slowed and the Spirit took over, leading me through a beautiful meditative journey.

An image of a toddler or small child held in great arms on an even greater lap rocking in a rocking chair.  I am the child.  I tilt my head up, trying to peak at the face of the one who holds me.  There were only eyes – eyes like I’ve only seen my earthly father have a handful of times.

Once when I was real young just the two of us were up watching Saturday morning cartoons in our pj’s snuggled together on the couch, at 14 or 15 during an honest, transparent conversation about my parents relationship and divorce and our own relationship, my wedding day, the first time he saw me holding my sons, when my mom died unexpectedly, and every time one of us must leave after a visit.

In these moments my dad’s eyes have shown with a brilliance of emotion – glossy, maybe sometimes teary, the outer corners lifted with pure joy.  In those moments it’s not about anything either of us said or did, but the powerful bond of relationship and love we share.  All of these moments have either been preceded or followed by him embracing me in his strong arms.  Arms that no matter how much I’ve grown – have always made me feel small and tender because that’s how he feels about me.

Then comes the moment of release.  Separation.  Where I must turn and go about my life.  And even though this part is the hardest, we both know it has to be done.  But it’s the image of his eyes and the feeling of his embrace that carry me through the weeks, months and sadly at times, even years that pass between these moments.

And with this image the Spirit said to me “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts (LOVE) to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts (LOVE) to those who ask him. -Matthew 7:9-11 (NLT, emphasis mine)

My head on His chest my heart whispered for the first time “I love you, Daddy.”  As He rocked me, I slipped into my slumber with similar feelings to the above, only unimaginably greater because my heavenly Father is immeasurably more than any earthly father.

Daddy, thank you for using these images to speak to me.  Thank you for my earthly father and providing the moments with him to convey to me how much you both love me.  Thank you for helping my heart capture something my mind knew not how to translate.  I am forever grateful for you both.  I love you!!

 

Revive Your Marriage Week 3

This week we’re reviving our friendships.  I strongly agree with many of my fellow bloggers in that friendship seems to be one of the first things to flee after marriage.  It’s so easy to get caught up in the “business” of life that we forget the need to intentionally nurture our friendships with our spouse.

One of our first dates was attending a football watching party at a mutual friend’s house.  By the end of the evening, so much fun was had, we didn’t want to leave!  I truly enjoyed sitting on his lap, munching on nachos and cheering on his team.  Quickly after we began our life together football slid WAY down the priority list.  There was just so much I NEEDED to do!!

Yesterday Bob and I accepted an invitation to a football watching party at another friend’s house.  Again, we sat together, enjoyed good food, and cheered our favorite teams on.  Again by the end of the evening, so much fun was had that we didn’t want to leave!  Nothing has changed, there still is so much that NEEDS to get done.  But I have learned that one of those NEEDS is to spend time with my best friend sharing in the joy together.

Father, I am so thankful for the protection you have provided my marriage throughout the years.  I praise you for awakening me to the needs of our friendship.  Please help me continue to recognize these moments as they come.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

 

Revive Your Marriage Week 2

Last week my husband and I attended a reunion of sorts where one of our friends brought a ton of pictures to reminisce over.  There was one picture among them of my husband and I.  I wish I were able to post a copy here because we were such babies!  The picture was taken about 10 years ago and it brought back so many good memories.  Here is one from the day we said “I do!”

The day of the reunion.

Father, thank you for the many years you have blessed Bob and I in our marriage.  I pray you would remind us both how we felt in the beginning.  Help us recall what made us fall for one another and the vows we proclaimed.  Renew our desire to be the spouse we promised to be.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

 

Prayer for faithfulness

“For this command is a lamp, this teaching is a light, and correction and instruction are the way to life, keeping you from your neighbor’s wife, from the smooth talk of a wayward woman.” -Proverbs 6:23-24 (NIV)

Unfortunately, there have been a number of times when I have been emotionally “seduced” by the smooth talk of a wayward man.  In the past, my emotions were not something I knew how to control.  I still am not the best at this, but I am better than I used to be!

There a many reasons why we as women feel the way we do in and about our marriages.  For years I felt alone, neglected, unloved, etc. in my marriage and I allowed my emotions to convince me that if my husband loved me enough he would do   fill in the blank    and I wouldn’t be feeling this way.  Because feeling this way was obviously wrong!!

After much work on myself, my relationship with God, and our marriage I know all of those past feelings were way more about me than they were about my husband.  I recently read a blog post that helped me visualize and compare the way I used to live, to the way I try to live now.

Father, thank you for your grace and forgiveness.  Thank you for a husband who grants grace and forgiveness!  I pray your word is the driving force behind our life, that our faith in you and your word would be our fuel, and that our feelings are kept in check behind the Truth and our faith in it.  Keep us from allowing our emotions to run our life.  I pray Bob and I protect our hearts against inappropriate relationships and that our hearts be pure and undivided in our commitment to each other.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

 

Prayer against evils of this culture

“Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall. No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.” – 1Cor 10:12-13 (NASB)

For many years my husband and I fell prey to the cultural norms.  That is NOT the type of marriage we want.  Currently, the statistics indicate 50% of marriages end in divorce.  Sadly, this statistic is no different when looking at married Christian couples.  Divorce was once seriously considered as a solution to our marital problems.  Thankfully, we worked together and found not only a solution to our problems, but a foundation to help our marriage thrive.  For us, putting Christ at the center of our lives provides this.

Father, I pray Bob and I will recognize and avoid the temptations of evil in our life.  Holy Spirit, help us see the escape provided in these situations and take a clear strong stand against the wickedness.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

 

Our Vows

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” – Gen 2:24 (NASB)

This challenge brings me such joy!  Due to my profession (massage therapist) I do not always have my wedding ring on, but I have found many other reminders to pray for my husband.  One that has helped me serve my family with a cheerful heart is praying for them while I do their laundry, cook them meals, and pick up around the house.  If my husband and I hadn’t dug in our heels and fought for our marriage, we wouldn’t have the life we do today.  Even though our relationship has been wonderful for the last few years, it has been impossible for me to forget the depths of brokenness we experienced in the past.

Father, I pray Bob and I will be faithful to our wedding vows.  I pray that we will have a desire to nurture our relationship as a sign of our loyalty and commitment to you, and as a picture of Christ’s love for the Church.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

 

Praying for my Husband

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,” Ephesians 5:25-29 (NASB)

Day 2 of this challenge I have accepted, I feel called to pray for my husbands leadership.  Throughout our time together his growth has been remarkable, not only his desire, but his abilities to Lead Me and our family are providing a life worth sharing.

Father, I pray Bob continues to grow in leadership skills in our relationship- protecting and providing for us.  I pray he will lead me wisely and love me sacrificially, so that You will be glorified in our marriage.  I pray for a thankful and submissive heart and spirit towards him.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.